Up In Smoke is a feature where i will be reviewing the latest movie I have seen.

Ok so the premise is really simple: Humans can control other humans in a ‘live’ video game environment.

Sounds simple right? WRONG!!

What had the potential to be a great homage to First-Person Shooters (FPS) and Third-person shooters (TPS), turns out to be just another standard action flick.

Ok so here’s the deal:

Death-row inmates volunteer to be part of this online game of mass-scale deathmatches called Slayers in which they are controlled (by having self-replicating nanites planted in their brains) by players of the ‘game’. If the death-row inmate survives for 30 matches, he wins his freedom.

One of these inmates is Kable. He is one of the leading stars of Slayers having survived for 27 matches so far.

So, with 3 matches left to win his freedom, you would expect the movie moguls to have an all out action epic with Kable going in guns blaring and explosions happening left, right and center with blood and guts flying all over the place (something along the lines of Saving Private Ryan).

But no. Instead we get a back-story about Kable and his family and how he ended up on death-row. We even get a back-story about the guy who came up with the idea for Slayers (Ken Castle) as well as his project before Slayers, Society. And instead of Kable actually being in the mass-scale deathmatch to win his freedom (which is what we all want to see by the way), we find out that the person he really should be after is Ken Castle, as it was Castle who got Kable locked up in the first place and it was Castle who fostered Kable’s daughter.

So in the end, all we have is Kable vs Castle (plus a few henchmen). Oh, and don’t forget the token huge black dude! All of this WITHOUT THE FREAKIN GUNS!! In fact, the only weapon we see throughout this whole shambles of a conclusion, is a knife which John Rambo could eat for breakfast!

Now you know how they say ‘Sex Sells’? Well GUNS SELL TOO!! Just give a guy a machine gun and let him loose. SIMPLES!!

Note to movie moguls: Research your topic. You may end up with a blockbuster movie. Then you can stop remaking classic movies and butchering their legacy.

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